This Is Not A Retreat
Let me preface this article by saying I am not against retreats. In fact, I have gone on a retreat in recent years and received many benefits from it including scheduled time alone, a break from my ordinary days, connecting with women, and having planned excursions and activities. It was a beautiful way to recharge and retreat into myself.Retreats are very popular these days. We are a culture of BUSY and retreats are filling this need to slow down. When we sign up for a retreat, we commit to a forced stop from our day-to-day routine so that we can gain a little perspective and sometimes, to simply breathe. Retreats allow us to physically remove ourselves from our normal so we can really see what is working and what isn’t. Some times we just need to retreat to save our sanity, to raise the white flag and surrender.
The word retreat means to draw back. To step backward. To withdraw. It can also mean a place of seclusion.When I went on a retreat, I made the clear intention of withdrawing. I would not speak if I didn’t have to or engage with too much energy expenditure. It was time to fill the tank and be in seclusion while still connecting with other women when I felt I could and to be inspired by the retreat facilitator, letting her lead the way so I could just flow with her rhythm she had set for the retreat. It was important for me to do this as I had never been away from my kids and my husband EVER. I could take a step back from the edge and regroup. Again, I am not against retreats. If you need to step back, do it. Soul Seed Gathering is NOT a retreat. Having attended both Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. It became clear to me that this was a different experience. In Chapter 1: Guatemala, I held the intention to take my seclusion as if it were a retreat and I was soon taught a powerful lesson.
My seclusion made me face a fear and an old trigger on the very first night. It was only when I let that intention go and engage and ask for support did I understand what this gathering could do. I moved into the driver’s seat and danced as a Creator.
With each gathering, I never expect a certain outcome. I don’t sit in the passive backseat.I don’t expect to be transformed. I transform. I don’t expect to be led or to be listened to. I lead and I listen. I don’t expect explanations and wisdom. I trust to receive what I need to receive when I need to receive it by being open and humble. I don’t expect for someone to tell me all the answers. I sit with the questions and allow the experience itself to fill in the blanks.
I don’t search for anything outside of me. I have what I am always looking for but sometimes I need others to reflect it back at me so I can remember.